Hey there,

A few months ago a friend of mine seperated from her partner. Okay, it happens.

They have a one year old daughter.

Things have gone haywire. Its not an uncommon story, really.

All of a sudden her ex-partner thinks it is no longer necissary to help her out with money, the home or their child because 'she was the one who wanted him gone.' Now, i am sorry- but this makes me extremely feisty.

Obviously there was good reason for her to end the relationship and i am a firm believer in the idea that a stable, happy, single parent home is much more beneficial to a childs life than an unhappily married home is. But, whats more than appauling is the fact that people are looking down on her and generally acting terribly towards her for ending this relationship because she has a child.

Newsflash people- a child is not a set of handcuffs!


I know that there may be some 'generational differences' on this matter, but really, any man (or woman- i know that does happen too!) who thinks it unnecissary to have a part in his own childs life out of spite does not get my pity vote. Anyone can be a 'father', but it takes alot more to be a 'dad'. This, my dear people, just does not cut the mustard in my books!

While i do think, in an ideal setting, both parents should be around and that the decision to have a child with someone should not be made lightly because of this, sometimes things just dont work out. Its sad, and i know that in most cases, people wish they could feel differently. But the reality is sometimes we make bad decisions and sometimes we change our minds. I do not think having a child means you should just throw your self respect out the door and 'deal with it' if you are unhappy or being mistreated in a relationship.

So- in other words- all the power to you, you strong single mama's who have respected yourself and your children enough to leave an unhealthy relaionship. I truley believe that in the long run, your children and YOU will thank you for it. This is the advice I am giving to my friend right now, and I know its easier said than done. But- shes a mum. In my books, that reason overrides every other reason.

Love, Keya. x