Hi all,

This morning i decided i would 'clean out' my study (ahem.)

There I found a box full of photos of college. Like these:

Yes- I am swigging out of a bottle of $ 5 champers.
Yes- I am wearing a cape and a beanie.
Yes- we got covered in paint that sometimes didnt come off for days, sang obscene rugby chants and shamelessley thought we were better than every other college because we were louder, drunker and had our own pub bus.
And;
YES- most of my days were spent sitting in hallways drinking whatever alcohol was left over from the night before, out of a plastic tub, with a communal jug, with a goon box on my head.

What of it!?

It was FUN! And im kinda sad that that part of my life is over.

I know its probably horrible to say that. I have a great boyfriend, family and friends who keep me thouroughly entertained- but, I dunno.

I guess my life is just movin' right along. Like a goddamn steamtrain! 

Everything is moving f.a.s.t- and I think days where I can sit around and watch 'Kill Bill' marathons, go to class for an hour, then hang out for a cup of noodles and a beer (and feel like it had been a productive day, because i'd actually gone to class) are no longer in existance.

Thats ok. I chose where I am now, and I dont regret it.

I like to be able to work to have enough money to afford to buy proper food, and new clothes and not make the dreaded 'hey ma, can you loan me  fifty bucks?' call.

I like to be closer to Kane.

I guess we all go through this stage when we are confronted with something life- changing.
The thought of having kids right now does scare me. I didnt plan for this to happen. I didnt plan to be sick enough to have to make this call right now- but I was, and I am.
Thats the truth of the matter- and no matter how many trips I make down memory lane I know that ive been handed this card and I have to play with it.

I'll make the best of it.

Hopefully I wont completley tank and fail- but im willing to give it a damn good try.

Have any of you had to make similar decision? My head is swimming.

Love, Keya. x